Everyone tries to be healthier and happier. In this search, we find obstacles that we must understand, accept and transform to progress.
One of the difficulties along the process of conscious change to achieve inner freedom is that we focus on dealing with the symptoms, instead of investigating at the origin of our problems or challenges.
But how do we focus on the symptoms and not on the origin of the challenges? We focus on the consequences, how things go wrong and not on the causes, what is causing it to go wrong.
Let’s see three examples.
The first one: you get depressed during the winter.
You focus on the symptoms when you give importance to the feeling of discomfort because you wear a lot of clothes; or you stop running every day and you only do it on sunny noondays; or you try to look for things to do to entertain yourself at home although they do not help you to stay with energy, like watching television…
Instead, you focus on the origin of the problem if you review what winter can offer you and you have not yet discovered; what attitude do you have in front of it; and what you need to change from yourself to maintain your energy and not get depressed.
The second example: you can’t sleep well because your neighbour’s dog barks at night.
You focus on the symptoms when you talk to your neighbour and ask him to silence the dog; or when you go to buy pills for insomnia and ear plugs; or when you analyze how not sleeping is affecting your work and your relationships…
Instead, you focus on the origin of the problem if you pay attention to learn to relax in the middle of the noise, so you can fall asleep.
And the third example: you don’t talk to your mother, because she doesn’t understand you and she criticizes you.
You focus on the symptoms when you think about what will be the next thing she will criticize; or how your father is on her side and not yours; or how you do it so she can visit your children without you having to relate to her…
Instead, you focus on the origin of the problem when you pay attention to, for example, how you give her the opportunity to judge you; how you demonstrate confidence in your own decisions with integrity; or how you can help her understand that the decision you have made is your best option at the moment.
So, in my opinion, to change yourself consciously, the first thing is to have the curiosity to focus on the origin of your problems or challenges, not on the symptoms.
And why do we tend to focus on the symptoms and not on the origin of our problems? That is due, in short, to the very nature of what we can call Ego. But that will be another post…